Deceit It is seldom possible to divorce our inner feelings entirely from the thoughts, considerations and even dreams upon which we were raised. Within the mind the concept of 'marriage' tends to connotate permanence, commitment, devotion, stability with the reflections of integrity, honor and trust included. Violation of the sanctity of given oaths in it's simplest form demonstrates a willingness on the part of the individual to vacate the integrity of these concepts without notification or assumption of responsibility to their involved contractual partner. This is the presence of a fundamental lie which is embraced by the individual. Further, the presence of an open deceit (with the primary partner) tends to reduce the validity of relationships engaged under deceit to casual interpretations within the mind. With the strength of a relationship based in truth, trust, honor and integrity the presence or lack of these traits presents a clear indication of weakness which will almost always warrant the long term destruction of any relationship formed within this structure. It is difficult to isolate emotional responses when we 'like' other people and choose to engage in intimate and sometimes dangerous relationships with them. We suggest to ourselves that we have a greater control over our emotional responses than we actually possess. Proximity and the sharing of experiences tends to solidify or intensify the depth of our feelings even when more rational sides of our mind encourage or tell us that the risk of such intensification has been demonstrated by our partners current deceitful actions with others will almost invariably lead to injury, damage and intense internal pain. If an individual is willing and willful to violate their 'word' within their 'primary' or stated most important relationship in their life, that person will have less difficulty in violating their words, promises and commitments to their secondary and lesser relationships. The demonstration of this ability to formulate and execute willful deceit is and should be considered to be in direct opposition to the fundamental necessities of truth, trust, honor and integrity so vital within a bonded D/s or BDSM relationship. When looking at or considering the actions which drew together the two parties involved in such an 'affair' it is important to remember that both contribute to the possibility of this deceit to continue or exist. The partner 'without' any other long term or committed relationship should always examine their decision to choose a potential partner who is 'unavailable' for commitment, truth, trust, integrity and honor and consider why they have elected to involve themselves in such a choice. BDSM by itself is a risky lifestyle, the community has endeavored to establish base or fundamental safeties and ideology to address the most dangerous physical/mental aspects of the lifestyle. Considering these hard fought for and hard won safeties and ideologies should be paramount when choosing or selecting a potential long term partner or bonded mate. Selection of a partner whose word has been tarnished makes any commitment to truth nonexistent. If a submissive cannot believe in the 'word' of their proposed dominant then they can and may be placing their life in peril. Deceit of contractual oaths in the vanilla world may be disreputable, untidy, immoral and disgraceful - deceit of contractual oaths within the kinky world may be deadly. In considering ramifications for your behavior or choice of actions it should be noted that you are potentially engaging in deceitful actions as well. If you are uncomfortable with the state of the relationship you have entered the only 'honorable' choice is to engage in a direct and open communication with your partner before soliciting other or new relationships with other people. To some extent your action becomes a mirror of the very behaviors which you express as being of concern to you. As to 'suggestions of potential punishment', without the fundamental base of the relationship such ideas should not even be engaged. If your intent is to vacate your existing commitment via oath to your dominant then further redressive interaction is moot. I would seriously suggest that you spend considerable time exploring and examining the path of your own choices 'without a partner' prior to deciding to involve a partner in your current confused or indecisive state. To form a relationship when you are not 'mentally stabilized' imposes extreme difficulties and perhaps damage upon those who would unknowingly agree to enter such a relationship with you. If in future you desire to partner with others who are physically, mentally, spiritually, legally free to engage in open relationships, then make such attributes mandatory or part of your limits list prior to seeking out such a relationship.

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